So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
