so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
