im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
