Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
i out mim tonsoeep
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