You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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