So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
