Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
