Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
