you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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