Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
