You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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