He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
