Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
