i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
youre lurking in front of me
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
