I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize