very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
