Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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