I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
