the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
