i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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