im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
