if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
