the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
