I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
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