making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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