he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
