You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
