You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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