id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
