when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
