i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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