Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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