Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
