Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
