just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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