Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Randomize
