it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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