You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
