So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha