dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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