My first STD was from a foam party
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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