i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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