But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
