Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
