I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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