I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
