i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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