Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
