Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
