I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Come share oat with me in your robe
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
