Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
