mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
