i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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