we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
