I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
