Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
