Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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