so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
