That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
