Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Welp...herpes.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
