There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
