Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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