that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
sarcasm needs its own font
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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