I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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